I know my Sejarah Form 4 is weak, I know my Physics and Add math are not up to standard. The only sure A i got now is English. Even that I'm starting to doubt.
I don't know how I got to where I am now. Just by extraordinary circumstances I guess. My dad decided to move somewhere near his workplace at Putrajaya,so we moved here to Seri Kembangan, and then he enrolled us into the nearest school SMK seri kembangan. And Bam. Here I am a year after that.
Almost all things I have done in life, I don't regret. However, I'm starting to feel a huge regret to have left my subang life and come here. I know, you've heard me moan countless of times on how crappy the school is, and defending it occasionnally. But i tell you know, if it were up to me, I would have never stepped into that school. Even its great canteen with its various types of food can't save it from the truth.
That's all I'm going to remember about this school. The great canteen. Probably some of the teachers and some friends. Not. Budi bahasa campaign is going on. That's all balls I say. The toilet is like a freaking chimney. Everytime I step in there, there's either a student smoking or smoke smell. Some teachers don't even look at you when you wish them. Not even a grunt of acknowlegement.
My classmates have the total unity of a group of apes forced to live together by their evil captives. Actually scratch that, my class has less untiy than that. The person sitting three spaces away from another can be totally oblivious to each other. After the 2nd year being together, some still don't know each others name.
Many even insult at every chance they get, its just so negative. I'm not saying I'm a saint, the only one there that's pure and holy, there to show the light. Au contraire, I probably started this negativity for all I know. I don't know la, I'm just so dissapointed right now. Just... no will to succeed.
People can nag me and tell me to think for myself, to go on a lone battle. But its definitely easier said than done. All the negativity is getting to me. Not having an Add math teacher for 3 weeks.
The worst is, my friends... are not really my friends here. I guess I can't expect myself to storm in and be greeted like a king or anything, for I've only been here 2 years and they have known each other (some of them) since primary school. I dunno, it just feels like I don't really have a real relationship, someone I can confide in here. Its always insults and arguments and clever wit. Well, I'm tired of all this crap.
So, that was me emo-ing after a long time of keeping it inside me. Later.
Signing off,
emo-monitor of a crappy class who couldn't care less.
